Vanilla Ice Intereview - chrisnieratko.com

Vanilla Ice Interview

I spent a month and a half tracking down the most infamous, player-hated white rapper ever. A month and a half of constant phone calls and e-mail! I first got word that he was some sort of professional waverunner racer, whatever the fuck that means, in Florida and that he had blown most of his fortune being a rock star. I bombarded every Jet Ski magazine in the country in hopes of finding the brother. No luck. One guy I talked to said he knew someone at Kawasaki motorcycles that might be able to help me. Mr. Kawasaki referred me to someone else who referred me to someone else who eventually referred me to my man, D.L., at the Harley Davidson of Texas. D.L. took my name and number and said he'd see what he could do. Whatever. So, I'm chilling on the phone not ten minutes later, rapping with this big-breasted stripper from up-state, trying to make plans for Friday, if not, then Saturday-ay-ay, when my call-waiting clicks.

Yeah, hello.

Yeah, hi. This is Rob... Rob Van Winkle. What's up?

The Ice Man cometh. A month and a half of work finally paid off. I broke down the article, told him it was strictly for research and that I really respected his contributions to hip-hop, blah, blah, blah. Meanwhile, all could think about was, 'I'm gonna make this cat cry.' So, Rob was all down for the interview.

Well, we can't do it right now. I've got this lady on the other line. Why don't you call me back?

He agreed and hung up. That was the last time I ever spoke to the cat. I tried again and again to catch up with him, via D.L., but I had already blown my chance. I could have given y'all Vanilla Ice on a bloody platter and botched it up for some stripper with a noodle as deep as a puddle apologize, had my priorities all wrong. Ice Ice, Baby... why'd you have to do me this way?

Comments

Mike Brown
12 Mar 2007, 19:50

Hey did you ever hear about the time V-Ice got beat up in Salt Lake City? It's now become somewhat of an urban legand around these parts but I know it really happened. It was durring his hardcore phase and I believe he was playing a show with Earth Crisis. Supposedly some tattoo artist offered a free full sleeve to whomever would be willing to fuck the dude up, I don't know the reasoning behind the offer though. I think the tattoo guy just thought it would be funny.

Rob Van Winkle
26 Mar 2007, 12:43

Wrong! It wasn't funny.

Devlin O'Connor
25 Dec 2007, 03:01

vanilla ice got beat up at an earth crisis show? thats got to be the most amazing things ive ever heard...

travis haselton
30 Jul 2008, 08:15

if anyone can find it on video I would be very happycause word has it it was my cousin who did it