Spring Broke
[ author: nathaniel welch ]
 My brother used to listen to Winger. How lame is that? It's taken me more than 15 years to admit that, especially since he was the guy that turned me on to good bands like Slayer, Metallica and King Diamond. To hear him try and convince me that cock rock groups like Whitesnake and Poison were "so fucking awesome" broke my heart. I didn't understand what could have happened to make him lose his appreciation for real music and suddenly dive balls-deep into shit. I didn't know if I could believe anything he ever told me again.
Then he went off to college and, by default, Daytona Beach, Florida for spring break. He called me one night, wasted, screaming about how I was missing out on all the fun, that naked girls were everywhere and eager to bed down. He told me that if I didn't go to Florida as soon as I turned 18 that I was an idiot. I called him a liar and hung up. That summer he came home from school toting what seemed like a hundred rolls of film full of wet T-shirt photos, sex on the beach, backseat blow jobs, bare-assed keg stands and everything else that comes to mind when one thinks of spring break. I apologized for doubting him and two years later I loaded up a car with friends and beer and made my way to Florida in search of the legend of spring break. I found it in spades. The photos my brother showed me and those in the book Spring Broke by Nathaniel Welch didn't lie, and I hated every minute of it. See, I'm kind of a germ freak which kind of puts the kibosh on party-time activities like unprotected sex, group kisses, sharing 16 oz. beer cups, community soap and underwater finger-banging. Not to mention I'm much more of a doomer that hates everyone than your average STD-infested, happy-go-lucky frat boy/sorority girl. But I like to watch, so I bought binoculars and had a great time by myself hundreds of yards away listening to books on tape. Spring Broke allows me to re-live those "good times" all over again in the privacy of my own home, tucked far away from human interaction. Woooooooooooo!!!
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