Scum Skateboards Review
 My buddy Ed Solis is a porn director, and his latest series is called Skater Chicks. He called me up a few days ago to see if I could get anyone to skate this six-foot bowl, for free, while some dork named Tony Pounds nails some girl on the ramp. So I called J.P. Jakel and the Scum guys, and they were all over it. The girl was to slide down the transition with kneepads into Tony's crotch. Tony was scared he'd get hurt. But J.P. said the bowl was fun. J.P. says that about everything. He even says i'm fun, which I think he just says to get medicine. He also thinks everyone's favorite bartender, Steve Faas, is fun, but I think that's just because they're teammates. That's such a weird word. Teammates, "Hey, pass me my board. Let's get 'em!" I guess Scum is weird like that. They give guys that aren't on the team boards, and they give guys that were on the team and quit boards, which I think is just lovely, like cotton panties soaked through for the first time, in the summer, on a deserted island, with rib-eye steaks as far as the eye can see. Go to scumskates.com and eat.
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