Ryan Gray Interview
[ photo by andrew hutchison ]
 Hey, Yan Gay.
Ah, man, here we go.
You don't like it when people call you Yan Gay?
Nobody calls me it anymore, really. I guess people forgot about it.
How did you get that name?
My friend Jesse made it up. he was just fucking around with my name, and I guess if you take the R's out, and it spells that, or whatever. It's just kind of gay.
Are you beyond a gay name?
I'm not gay at all.
You can prove to me that you're not gay by telling me the story of your first Tampa Am.
That was a pretty good experience. I got a mean head, dude. I was just at this club downtown, and this chick, like I just started talking to her, then we went back to the hotel, and like I went in her truck, she liked the truck, she started messing around. It was a good one.
Was that your first?
No way. I've had plenty of those bad boys. That one was just a mean one.
Wasn't that chick at the Tampa Am one of the skate moms?
No. Not a skate mom. But that would have been rad.
I heard that chick was like 40 years old.
Yeah, right. She was like 20.
Times two.
Nah, just 20.
Are you bummed that you're in the Tilt Mode Army, everybody's blowing up, and you're not?
Not bummed at all, those are my boys. I'm getting a little credit. I'm a Tilt Mode Army for life, dude.
You peel potatoes for the Army?
Yeah, right, I don't think so.
You're not even good enough to be Radar.
Yeah, right, Peace.
Don't you think that sucks?
What?
You.
Me? Yeah, right. I'm paying my dues. Tilt Mode for life.
How do you get paid, since you're not blowing up?
I work at this skatepark for the city of Santa Clara.
What do you do there? Do you teach kids how to swim?
No, I sit on my ass all day.
How much do they pay you?
Eleven bucks.
A week?
An hour. I just sit on my ass. It's not too bad, I'm pretty stoked.
Are there any girl skaters up there?
Every once in a while.
Do they look like dudes with beards?
Sometimes. There is this one girl, she comes in sometimes, she has like a mustache, a little goatee. She shreds the bowl.
Did you take her behind the tool shed?
Yeah, right dude, peace.
Do you make all the kids wear swimmies?
Sometimes. Only when they're going in the big bowl. 'Cause that shit's deep.
Are you the asshole that says, "Put your pads on!"?
I guess so, I gotta do that sometimes.
Would you tell me to put my pads on?
Probably not.
Would you tell me to take my pants off?
No way, I don't want to see that shit.
Good, 'cause I don't wear underwear.
That shit's gross. Better put some underwear on.
I don't have any underwear, do you have any underwear for me?
Uh, nope. All dry.
Did your mom breast feed you?
When I was younger.
Would she breast feed me if I asked her?
Probably not.
There's no way i'm coming over Thanksgiving dinner now, bro.
She cooks a mean turkey.
I'd like to give her the turkey neck.
She wouldn't be too stoked on that.
What else do you want to tell me, Yan Gay?
Nothin', I don't know. What else? Sponsors maybe?
Maybe.
I'll tell you my sponsors. How old I am and stuff.
I don't care how old you are. Don't you have anything interesting to tell me?
I pissed on a cat once.
How did that happen?
I was drunk one night, I was just walking back to my friend's house, and he has two cats, and they were just chillin' on the porch, and I had to take a piss super bad, and I just saw the cat and was like, "Ah, well, only time to piss on a cat once in a lifetime chance," so I just whipped it out and just started pissing right on it's head.
What did it do?
It started meowing and just kind of like chilled there for a bit, and then ran away. Its head was all drenched in piss.
That's good. You've earned the right to tell me your sponsors now.
All right, I ride for Santa Cruz Skateboards, Black Magic Griptape, Shorty's hardware, Black Panther bearings, I get flowed by Circa and NC boardshop and Sessions clothing.
Comments
The other Chris
27 Feb 2007, 13:41
Thank you for giving me some to read at work today, man.
"Yeah, right, Peace."
I love people that misuse slang. I thought he was going to leave the interview when he kept saying that. I am embaressed for him.
And he still hasn't "blown up". I think he might still work at that skatepark. Poor dude.
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