Russ Milligan Interview
[ photo by kosick ]
 Are you related to what's his name?
Who?
That Milligan dude.
I don't know, probably not.
Where's your beaver?
It's at home with my igloo.
Doesn't it get cold?
Nah, it's got it's own little dam outside.
Oh, really? I mean, Damn!
Oh, yeah.
Hey how do you feel about being represented by a bunch of cheaters in the hockey match?
Fuck that. We're not cheaters. How do you figure, we just worked you guys.
When it's five on one, it's not hard to work someone.
Yeah. What hockey game you talking about?
The one at the Slam City Jam.
Oh yeah, that was fuckin' cheating.
You're banned from the richest skatepark in Canada?
Oh, Ambleside. I was, but it's cool now. I tried to cut the bolts off a bike rack so I could skate it, and I got busted. Well, they figured it was vandalism or something.
I thought you got in trouble because you tried to steal a fuckin' bench?
No.
Have you ever tried to steal a bike?
No.
Have you ever tried to steal a horse from a Mountie?
No, not yet.
Have you ever shit in a Mountie's hat?
No.
Have you ever hung out with the Mounties and got wasted and talked hockey talk?
Nope.
Do you ever do anything with the Mounties?
No. I don't really see those dudes too often.
What, they got their own little crew?
Yeah, I guess they kinda stick to themselves.
So, you're like a Red Dragon and stuff, huh?
Yeah, I guess.
Does Golem protect your cave?
Uh, yeah, I guess.
Were you mad when Bilbo stole your ring?
What are you calling me, Frodo or something?
No, don't you know the story?
Bilbo, from Lord of the Rings. Yeah, he stole Frodo's ring, right? Wait he stole -- I don't know, I've got them confused.
Do you get confused easily, Russ?
No.
Have you ever met anybody else named Russ in your life?
Not that I can remember.
Would you be pissed if you ever did?
No, I'd probably be cool with it.
Is your name really Russ, or is it Russell?
Well, it's Russell, the long way.
Were you made fun of like, "Russell the love muscle?"
Yeah, I heard that one a few times.
How about "hustle and bustling Russell?"
No, I never heard that one.
How about "what's all the fussle, Russell?"
No.
How about "what's up with your hair, Russell?"
Nah, I never heard that one. Russell the muscle is probably the only one I got out of those.
Did you ever get a handjob from a skate mom?
A handjob? No, not yet.
Did you ever get anything from a skate mom?
No, I don't think so.
How come people don't wear those hats with the umbrellas sticking out of the top of them in Vancouver?
I don't know, they're hard to find.
Say I started a company that made those, do you think you would buy some?
I might wear them if I got them free.
Do you think you could help me get some of the other Red Dragons to wear them?
I'll try my best.
I think they'd really keep all yous guys dry up there.
Yeah, probably would.
Do you like that there are so many tulips in Vancouver?
I have never really noticed that there was.
Don't you have eyes?
Yep, I do.
Look to your left, see those tulips?
No. I don't.
They're fuckin' everywhere up there, man.
Oh, yeah? I don't know. I haven't seen that shit yet.
Dude, tulips are good man.
I could imagine.
Tell me a funny story about somebody you know, so that you can earn your right to say your sponsors.
When we were in Calgary, and we got charged with assault for pushing an old man. The charges got dropped, but, yeah, it went down.
More dudes should punch dudes in the head, don't you think?
Yeah, that shit's pretty dope.
I guess i'll let you tell me your sponsors now.
All right, okay. I ride for Seek Skateboards flow team and RDS, Darkstar wheels, Venture trucks, DC flow from Centre, and that's it.
Did Dyrdek put you on Seek?
Nah, Colin hooked it up.
Do you have any ice?
Do I have ice, nah. I'm still trying to save up for some ice.
They let you on the team with no ice, that's fucked up. You're going to get dropped. You better not let Dyrdek find out.
Yeah, I'll try not to.
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