Resident Evil 4 Review
 I woke up late this morning and pooped my pants. I usually wake up at eight, put some coffee on, then casually walk into the lavatory and unload my brown tar. But this morning I woke up at 8:15 and my body didn't know what to do with itself. I was afraid to fart and afraid to run for fear that any movement would uncork the contents of my colon. So I took baby steps. But I still felt my butt getting wet and juicy. My only chance was to make a break for it, haul ass to the can and pray that the mess was minimal. I guess God wasn't listening because with the first big step I took, and every subsequent step, I felt the liquidy mess hitting my underwear and running down my leg. By the time I sat my ass on the porcelain, I had nothing left to give. There was a mushy brown/yellow trail from one end of the apartment to the other and no one to blame but myself. Had I not tried to stay up all night playing Resident Evil, which is two lengthy discs long, maybe I would've gotten up on time. Or maybe it had something to do with drinking all those Pabsts.
Comments
clif
27 Mar 2008, 15:57
This summer at work i sharted myself right after having breakfest, for some reason those cheese and eggs decided to skip their vacation in my stomach and make a road trip straight to the brown eye. The awesome thing is i wasnt quite sure if it was a shart or not, due to the fact that morning physical labor had induced some serious sweaty ass. I sat their for some time in minor discomfort assuming that I was safe and that shwamp crack was nothing to be ashamed of. It wasn't until I stepped up from the table and felt that all to familiar cold damp spot slightly down the left leg of my boxers that i realised the janitor of the nearest bathroom would be finding a new pair of drawers in the corner trash can.
Im glad that resident evil has made it possible for more than one person to experiance a poop in your pants story.
Actually...
27 Mar 2008, 22:29
Best damn game I've ever completed.
MIK
04 Jun 2008, 16:04
hilarious
[ back to top ]
© 2007 chrisnieratko.com |
|
