skinema book

Skinema Review

[ by Jay Riggio ]

Thirty-year old New Jersey native, Chris Nieratko is pretty much a living legend in the genre of irreverent sentence writing. As the one-time editor of the now defunct legendary skate mag, Big Brother—and contributing writer to loads of other magazines like Maxim, i-D, me Skateboard Mag and a shitload more—Chris has also spent the past several years penning his own style of porno reviews for, Vice and Bizarre UK. After writing thousands of these porno evaluations over time, Vice Books has decided to release Skinemo—a collection of the best of Chris' reviews from both magazines. Despite being labeled as "reviews," each section actually reads like a short story or hysterical musing based solely on Chris' peculiar life encounters, racing, drug addled thoughts or whatever the fuck he felt like writing about at the time. "The book is cloaked as being porn reviews, but then you see it doesn't have anything to do with anything except me," explains Nieratko. "I don't know, I'd like to think I'm far more interesting than anything on this planet," says Chris, embracing his strict "if I didn't write it, I won't read it," policy. His countless reviews address things like his having caught AIDS for two weeks, mermaid anal sex, making fun of fat people, being addicted to prescription pills, dipping his genitals into sweltering hot coffee and a bunch of other topics far too gnarly to mention in fear of losing some of our advertisers. Accompanying Chris' absurdly hilarious words are photos he's shot throughout his travels—ranging from sexy snaps of his beautiful wife, to his posing alongside trannies, to a handful of badly tattooed whores from the depths of Americas beautiful asscrack. Being his own worst critic, Nieratko sifted through every review, insuring that each one was worthy of making the book's final cut. "Some just didn't make me laugh again and if I was embarrassed that my name was attached to it, then it went into the other pile," Chris says. "I was trying to make some kind of sense out of them. After a while, they kind of found themselves in some weird story order, which I never intended since they were all basically drug induced stories from before I met my wife." Buy Skinema now. I guarantee you've never laughed harder while reading words.

c/o Mass Appeal

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