Josh Spencer Interview
[ photo by brett rubin ]
 I've heard about the band and everything, but I never knew you skateboarded.
The band? That's John Spencer, dipshit. I'm Josh.
How do you make money?
I'm a slave to a restaurant.
What kind of restaurant?
Uh, fucking hold on a second.
No.
Hold on.
No.
Other line!
No.
Fucking A!
What restaurant?
T.G.I. Friday's.
You ever piss in anybody's food?
No, done other shit. Stupid shit, like make sure it's freezing cold.
Do you ever put your man juice in their food?
No. I know some Mexicans who've done it.
Have you ever put your penis in the mash potatoes?
No, we don't have mashed potatoes. We have potatoes au gratin. No, seriously, could I get the other line now?
I can't hear you.
Can I get the other line?
You want to get the other line?
Just for a second.
But this is your interview.
All right, fine, I'll leave it.
If you don't care about your interview, then grab the other line.
No, no.
No, go ahead, grab the other line. See what happens.
No, 'cause then I'm going to come back and you're going to hang up.
No, go ahead. Grab the other line.
Take the gamble. No, I'm all right. I'll stick with this.
You made a good choice. My buddy told me you wear panties. Is that true?
Once, but that was a long time ago. I don't like the way g-strings feel. But I look good in them. I'm a hairless, little young Scandinavian lad. So, don't you want to talk about skateboarding?
What do you have to say about it?
About skateboarding? It's like crack. I'm addicted.
Like a man's ass crack, you're a dickhead?
Not a man's ass crack, just like a dangerous drug. It just keeps hurting you, but you gotta do it.
That's real profound there. You're a deep motherfucker. That's all you have to say about skateboarding?
Do you know who Jeanne Hoffman is? She ran CASL and she saved my life. I was tweaking on meth when I was like 14,15. She got me on a plane for Russia to clean up. I got photos in the Transworld article in '94 about it.
What was Russia like?
It was nutty. I was there when it was during their summer, so the
sun never set, it just dipped. It was light 24 hours a day.
Were you still doing meth out there?
No, I couldn't find it. It was great. I drank a lot, skated a lot, ate a
lot of borscht and got healthy.
Do you know all yous ams are a dime a dozen?
Oh, yeah. Tell me about it.
There's another guy right behind you, in line, waiting to get
his Goddamn check out.
Yep, I know.
What's going to make you any different than the next guy,
Josh Spencer?
Man, I just skate. Fuck. I just have the opportunity to keep skating
and skate for free and go places. I go to school, too, and work and
do my shit and hang out with girls, but skating's been my love.
Well, kids are going to forget about you regardless, even if
you do become pro.
I don't care. Fuck the kids. They bother me. It's not like the kids
are going to read this fucking thing anyway, man. Half the kids in
this world can't even fucking read, so it doesn't matter.
Well, I gotta go take a piss now, Josh.
Well, let me rattle off my sponsors, at least, okay?
Go ahead then.
There's Gary and Handsome at Arnette, Jerome at ATM, Big Paul
and Bob at Hurley, Sasha and Casey and George at Doheny
Board Center.
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