Josh Harmony Interview
[ photo by kosick ]
 Have you seen Ed Templeton's penis yet?
Yes, I have.
Were you psyched?
No. I was kinda scared. Like Caswell was really bummed
one night on our Toy Machine tour thing, and he was on the
phone, like in bed, and Ed got on top of the bed and started
stripping to try and make him laugh while he was all sad or
something. And he kinda whipped it out.
Did he hit him in the face with it?
Nah. Not that close.
Has he tried to take any naked pictures of you yet?
Nuh-uh.
Are you kind of bummed, since he's a famous artist,
and he doesn't want any naked photos of you?
No. He takes other pictures of me, like chewing off fireworks
and stuff.
Would you pose nude for him if he asked you to?
No. I'm not comfortable with myself naked in front of people,
I guess.
Have you ever been naked in front of somebody
before?
Yes. My mom. When I was born I was naked.
And that's the only person?
Maybe a couple of other people.
Patrick [Melcher] tells me you're a super-religious dude.
Yeah. I'm sort of religious. I believe in Jesus Christ.
I don't know. I think that he's my saviour.
Are you going to go to heaven or hell, do you think?
I hope heaven. Yeah, I'm assuming heaven.
You think if you posed nude for Ed you'd go to hell?
No.
You think Ed's going to hell?
I don't know. Maybe. I hope not.
What other good stuff happened on your Toy Machine
tour?
It was just like mayhem 100% of the time. Just raw, you
know? We'd be sitting there in the van, and we'd all be
really bored, and then Jaya just pulled out this M80 and lit it
on fire and threw it behind him, and it landed on my lap. I hit
it off, and it went down to the gutter part of the car and
exploded. Then we just all went crazy. It was probably like two o'clock in the morning, just driving, you know? Ed was in the passenger seat, and he jumped back and just started
swinging at people and hitting people in the face. And we
had these BB guns, and Nate was shooting me in the leg,
he shot me in the head.
What do you think would have happened if that fucking
M80 went off in your lap?
It probably would have, I don't know, burnt a hole in my
pants.
It would blow your balls off. It would actually blow your
balls off.
Yeah. That's seriously how raw it was.
Yeah. I've seen a kid blow three of his fingers off with an
M80.
Are you serious?
Yeah. It was warped cause he didn't get it off in time.
The fuse just went. Just as it left his hand, it blew his
three middle fingers off. He's got like permanent
"shacka" now.
Oh, my gosh. That's crazy.
Are you sure it was an M80?
I'm positive. An M80.
You would have lost your testicles if that thing had
blown up in your lap.
Yeah. I was lucky I wasn't asleep.
Fuck. How do you think you would live the rest of your
life without testicles?
I'd be pretty sad. I wouldn't be much of a man anymore.
Would you kill yourself?
I'd probably find out if I could get some new ones. Or, I don't
know, see if I could get it fixed up down there before I killed
myself.
Tell me a funny story that's happened lately.
Oh, there's this one time on tour when we were leaving this
demo in Oklahoma, and all the kids had gone away, but
there were these kids chillin' in their van, and when our van
was driving out, they got out of their van, and they were like
pounding on our van and sticking stickers on it. And Ed
freaked out. The kids got in their van and drove off, and we
went chasing them. Ed's like, "Everyone get their paintballs
ready! Get the slingshots and everything ready." So Billy
Marks] gets his C02-cartridge BB gun, and Diego has his Napersparks paintball gun in his hand. We all rolled up next to this guy at a stoplight—like this guy thought he got away from us, but we pulled up to him, and just as the kid was rolling down his window, going, "Hey!" everyone unleashed on him. Just paintballs and everything. Diego seriously shot this kid in the face. I saw a paintball hit the kid in the forehead and explode in his face. And Billy's just going BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! with his BB gun, just totally denting up this kid's mom's van. I felt so bad. These kids, you could tell they were bummed 'cause I think it would hurt to get hit in the face with one of those paintball guns. Austin's like, "That doesn't suck, those kid's have the awesomest story to tell now."
That's true.
I got hit in the chest for $20 with a paintball, from Ed, probably like five feet away. It hurt. I had a welt on my chest for like a week and a half.
Just tell me your sponsors so we can just end it.
Ruca, Thunder, Etnies, Toy Machine and RQ Board Shop. And...I don't know....
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