Iota Skateboards Review
 When I was in Minneapolis last October I made some bold statements. Most of which are pointless because they involved a newspaper, a bowl of soup and a six pack, but I do recall claiming that Sacramento would play New Jersey in the NBA finals. And now here it is, a week after the finals, and Sacramento came within a few points of facing New Jersey in the finals. SO what does that mean exactly? It was supposed to mean the words New Jersey would be spoken by everyone everywhere, and those words would ring loud with the sounds of victory. Somehow I totally forgot about Shaq, the biggest oaf in NBA history. But I have something to confess. When I was hanging out with Joe Fobia in Minnesota, owner of Fobia Skateshop and Iota Skateboards, we were going to a bunch of Timberwolves games and hanging out with Jesse Ventura. And, well, God, this is tough, how do I say this? I fucked the Governor. I fucked Jesse Ventura. I don't know how it happend. I was drunk, he was drunk. He knew some of the same people I knew. We were at a party, he saw me, or maybe I saw him, I don't know, but one thing led to another, and next thing I know i'm getting "body slammed." It all happend so quickly. Next thing I know Steve Nesser quit Consolidated to ride for Iota with Emeric Pratt, and I don't even know if I had anything to do with that, but if I did, well, then I did. What else can I say? I can't keep living this lie, and i'm sick of beating myself up over this. I'm human, and I hurt too. And I just want this to stop, so I can get on with my life and find some other kind of hurt. Does anyone really care if I fucked Jesse Ventura? Is it anyone's business? Wait. Did I say fucked? I didn't fuck him. He's not even my type. Go Nets.
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