<html> <head><title>Intro Archives - chrisnieratko.com</title> <META content="official homepage of the man, the myth, the legendary: Chris Nieratko." name=description> <META content="chris nieratko,writing,stories,articles,reviews,literature,edward lisowski,BUN" name=keywords> <META http-equiv=Content-Type content="text/html; charset=iso-8859-1"> <META content="MSHTML 6.00.2800.1491" name=GENERATOR> <link rel="stylesheet" type="text/css" href="nieratko.css"></HEAD> <body topmargin="0" leftmargin="0" background="bkg.gif" LINK="#FF8C00" VLINK="#FF8C00" ALINK="#FF8C00"> <center><br> <table border="1" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" style="border-collapse: collapse" bordercolor="#111111" width="520"> <tr> <td width="100%"><table border="0" cellspacing="0" width="610" cellpadding="0"bgcolor="#FFFFFF" style="border-collapse: collapse" bordercolor="#111111"> <tr> <td> <object width="650" height="130"> <param name="movie" value="banner.swf"> <embed src="banner.swf" width="650" height="130"> </embed> </object> <img src="pics/skinema.jpg" usemap="#skinema" alt="" style="border-style:none" /><map id="skinema" name="skinema"> <area shape="rect" alt="skinema book" coords="1,0,665,74" href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1576873846?ie=UTF8&tag=chrisnieratko-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=1576873846" title="" /> <area shape="default" nohref="nohref" alt="" /> </map> </tr> <tr> <td valign="top"> <!-- MENU CODE --> <center> <div><div><div style="display:none;"><ul id="imenus0" style="width:600px"> <li style="width:145px;"><a href="#" target="_self"><strong>Me, me, me</strong></a> <div><div style="width:120px;top:0px;left:-1px;"><ul style=""> <li><a href="http://www.chrisnieratko.com/index.htm" target="_self">Home</a></li> <li><a href="http://www.chrisnieratko.com/introarchives.htm" target="_self">Intro Archives</a></li> <li><a href="http://www.chrisnieratko.com/photos.htm" target="_self">Photos</a></li> <li><a href="http://www.chrisnieratko.com/promos.htm" target="_self">Promos</a></li> <li><a href="http://www.chrisnieratko.com/press.htm" target="_self">Press</a></li> <li><a href="http://www.chrisnieratko.com/contact.htm" target="_self">Contact</a></li> </ul></div></div></li> <li style="width:145px;"><a href="#" target="_self"><strong>Interviews</strong></a> <div><div style="width:146px;top:0px;left:-1px;"><ul style=""> <li><a href="http://www.chrisnieratko.com/proskaters.htm" target="_self">Skateboarding</a> <div><div style="width:118px;top:-19px;left:133px;"><ul style=""> <li><a href="http://www.chrisnieratko.com/proskaters.htm" target="_self">Pro's</a></li> <li><a href="http://www.chrisnieratko.com/goddamnams.htm" target="_self">God Damn Am's</a></li> </ul></div></div></li> <li><a href="http://www.chrisnieratko.com/musicinterviews.htm" target="_self">Music</a></li> <li><a href="http://www.chrisnieratko.com/otherinterviews.htm" target="_self">Other</a></li> </ul></div></div></li> <li style="width:145px;"><a href="#" target="_self"><strong>Reviews</strong></a> <div><div style="width:146px;top:0px;left:0px;"><ul style=""> <li><a href="http://www.chrisnieratko.com/productreviews.htm" target="_self">Products</a></li> <li><a href="http://www.chrisnieratko.com/musicreviews.htm" target="_self">Music</a></li> <li><a href="http://www.chrisnieratko.com/bookreviews.htm" target="_self">Books</a></li> <li><a href="http://www.chrisnieratko.com/tours.htm" target="_self">Worldwide Tours</a></li> </ul></div></div></li> <li style="width:145px;"><a href="#" target="_self"><strong>Links</strong></a> <div><div style="width:146px;top:0px;left:-1px;"><ul style=""> <li><a href="http://www.njskateshop.com/" target="_new">NJ Skateshop</a></li> <li><a href="http://www.viceland.com/" target="_new">Viceland</a></li> <li><a href="http://bizarremag.com/" target="_new">Bizarre Mag</a></li> <li><a href="http://www.papermag.com/" target="_new">Papermag</a></li> <li><a href="http://www.raygordon.com/" target="_new">Ray Gordon</a></li> </ul></div></div></li> </ul><div style="clear:left;"></div></div></div></div> <script language="JavaScript">function imenus_data0(){ this.enable_visual_design_mode = false this.main_is_horizontal = true this.menu_showhide_delay = 150 /*--------------------------------------------- Optional Box Animation Settings ---------------------------------------------*/ //set to... 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new Array() theImages[0] = 'seperators/1.gif' theImages[1] = 'seperators/2.gif' theImages[2] = 'seperators/3.gif' theImages[3] = 'seperators/4.gif' theImages[4] = 'seperators/5.gif' theImages[5] = 'seperators/6.gif' theImages[6] = 'seperators/7.gif' theImages[7] = 'seperators/8.gif' theImages[8] = 'seperators/9.gif' theImages[9] = 'seperators/10.gif' theImages[10] = 'seperators/11.gif' theImages[11] = 'seperators/12.gif' theImages[12] = 'seperators/13.gif' theImages[13] = 'seperators/14.gif' theImages[14] = 'seperators/15.gif' theImages[15] = 'seperators/16.gif' theImages[16] = 'seperators/17.gif' theImages[17] = 'seperators/18.gif' theImages[18] = 'seperators/19.gif' theImages[19] = 'seperators/20.gif' theImages[20] = 'seperators/21.gif' theImages[21] = 'seperators/22.gif' theImages[22] = 'seperators/23.gif' theImages[23] = 'seperators/24.gif' theImages[24] = 'seperators/25.gif' theImages[25] = 'seperators/26.gif' theImages[26] = 'seperators/27.gif' theImages[27] = 'seperators/28.gif' theImages[28] = 'seperators/29.gif' theImages[29] = 'seperators/30.gif' theImages[30] = 'seperators/31.gif' theImages[31] = 'seperators/32.gif' theImages[32] = 'seperators/33.gif' theImages[33] = 'seperators/34.gif' theImages[34] = 'seperators/35.gif' theImages[35] = 'seperators/36.gif' var j = 0 var p = theImages.length; var preBuffer = new Array() for (i = 0; i < p; i++){ preBuffer[i] = new Image() preBuffer[i].src = theImages[i] } var whichImage = Math.round(Math.random()*(p-1)); function showImage(){ document.write('<img src="'+theImages[whichImage]+'">'); } //--> </script> <script language="JavaScript"> <!-- showImage(); --> </script></center><br><br> <center> <a href="http://www.chrisnieratko.com/jan07.htm" target="_self">Jan. 2007 <big>[ website introduction ]</a></big><br> <a href="http://www.chrisnieratko.com/feb07.htm" target="_self">Feb. 2007 <big>[ japanese toilet ]</a></big><br> <a href="http://www.chrisnieratko.com/mar07.htm" target="_self">Mar. 2007 <big>[ dungeon master haircut ]</a></big><br> <a href="http://www.chrisnieratko.com/apr07.htm" target="_self">Apr. 2007 <big>[ uncle lonnie ]</a></big><br> <a href="http://www.chrisnieratko.com/may07.htm" target="_self">May 2007 <big>[ skinema alternate covers ]</a></big><br> <a href="http://www.chrisnieratko.com/may07-b.htm" target="_self">May 2007 <big>[ skinema release party ]</a></big><br> <a href="http://www.chrisnieratko.com/jun07.htm" target="_self">June 2007 <big>[ hitzey shouldn't bet on horses ] </a></big><br> <a href="http://www.chrisnieratko.com/jun07-b.htm" target="_self">June 2007 <big>[ book expo ]</a></big><br> <a href="http://www.chrisnieratko.com/jul07.htm" target="_self">July 2007 <big>[ retarded beer holder ]</a></big><br> <a href="http://www.chrisnieratko.com/jul07-b.htm" target="_self">July 2007 <big>[ mancow radio show ]</a></big><br> <a href="http://www.chrisnieratko.com/jul07-c.htm" target="_self">July 2007 <big>[ please stab paul pierce ]</a></big><br> <a href="http://www.chrisnieratko.com/aug07.htm" target="_self">Aug. 2007 <big>[ your mother's vagina has worms ]</a></big><br> <a href="http://www.chrisnieratko.com/sept07.htm" target="_self">Sept. 2007 <big>[ marinating my penis in my wife s guts ]</a></big><br> <a href="http://www.chrisnieratko.com/sept07-b.htm" target="_self">Sept. 2007 <big>[ gretchen sheckler ]</a></big><br> <a href="http://www.chrisnieratko.com/oct07.htm" target="_self">Oct. 2007 <big>[ don't mess with texas ]</a></big><br> <a href="http://www.chrisnieratko.com/oct07-b.htm" target="_self">Oct. 2007 <big>[ make it rain ]</a></big><br> <a href="http://www.chrisnieratko.com/nov07.htm" target="_self">Nov. 2007 <big>[ hitler on vacation / do's and dont's videos ]</a></big><br> <a href="http://www.chrisnieratko.com/nov07-b.htm" target="_self">Nov. 2007 <big>[ ghostface & son ]</a></big><br> <a href="http://www.chrisnieratko.com/nov07-c.htm" target="_self">Nov. 2007 <big>[ you are a glutton for punishment ]</a></big><br> <a href="http://www.chrisnieratko.com/dec07.htm" target="_self">Dec. 2007 <big>[ i m sorry, but i m going back in time ]</a></big><br> <a href="http://www.chrisnieratko.com/dec07-b.htm" target="_self">Dec. 2007 <big>[ where brooklyn at? ]</a></big><br> <a href="http://www.chrisnieratko.com/dec07-c.htm" target="_self">Dec. 2007 <big>[ happy kwanzaa ]</a></big><br> <a href="http://www.chrisnieratko.com/jan08.htm" target="_self">Jan. 2008 <big>[ i'm a horse ready for the glue factory ]</a></big><br> <a href="http://www.chrisnieratko.com/feb08.htm" target="_self">Feb. 2008 <big>[ bam margera's house / radio show ]</a></big><br> <a href="http://www.chrisnieratko.com/mar08.htm" target="_self">Mar. 2008 <big>[ lonnie... still retarded ]</a></big><br> <a href="http://www.chrisnieratko.com/apr08.htm" target="_self">Apr. 2008 <big>[ all sorts of shit ]</a></big><br> <a href="http://www.chrisnieratko.com/may08.htm" target="_self">May 2008 <big>[ have you ever considered joining a gang? ]</a></big><br> <a href="http://www.chrisnieratko.com/jun08.htm" target="_self">June 2008 <big>[ they could have been a contender ]</a></big><br> <a href="http://www.chrisnieratko.com/jul08.htm" target="_self">July 2008 <big>[ i suffered through the x-games ]</a></big><br> <a href="http://www.chrisnieratko.com/aug08.htm" target="_self">Aug. 2008 <big>[ help st. peter forget he's canadian ]</a></big><br> (we were drunk all september)<br> <a href="http://www.chrisnieratko.com/oct08.htm" target="_self">Oct. 2008 <big>[ happy hog o' ween ] </a></big><br> <a href="http://www.chrisnieratko.com/nov08.htm" target="_self">Nov. 2008 <big>[ senor schnitzel ] </a></big><br> <a href="http://www.chrisnieratko.com/dec08.htm" target="_self">Dec. 2008 <big>[ every tuesday for poker night ]</a></big><br> <a href="http://www.chrisnieratko.com/jan09.htm" target="_self">Jan. 2009 <big>[ cuban skate crisis ]</a></big><br> <a href="http://www.chrisnieratko.com/feb09.htm" target="_self">Feb. 2009 <big>[ steve berra's gross ]</a></big><br> <a href="http://www.chrisnieratko.com/mar09.htm" target="_self">Mar. 2009 <big>[ easter with lonnie ]</a></big><br> (we got drunk again) </center> <br><br><br><br><center><script language="JavaScript"> <!-- var theImages = new Array() theImages[0] = 'seperators/1.gif' theImages[1] = 'seperators/2.gif' theImages[2] = 'seperators/3.gif' theImages[3] = 'seperators/4.gif' theImages[4] = 'seperators/5.gif' theImages[5] = 'seperators/6.gif' theImages[6] = 'seperators/7.gif' theImages[7] = 'seperators/8.gif' theImages[8] = 'seperators/9.gif' theImages[9] = 'seperators/10.gif' theImages[10] = 'seperators/11.gif' theImages[11] = 'seperators/12.gif' theImages[12] = 'seperators/13.gif' theImages[13] = 'seperators/14.gif' theImages[14] = 'seperators/15.gif' theImages[15] = 'seperators/16.gif' theImages[16] = 'seperators/17.gif' theImages[17] = 'seperators/18.gif' theImages[18] = 'seperators/19.gif' theImages[19] = 'seperators/20.gif' theImages[20] = 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top ]</a><br><br> &#169 2007 chrisnieratko.com</center></td></tr></table> </div> <script type="text/javascript"> var gaJsHost = (("https:" == document.location.protocol) ? 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