Dan Pensyl Interview
 I hate to be the one to break this to you but the life of a professional skater isn’t always as glamorous as it seems. Sure, a few handfuls of guys are rolling in SUVs made of gold with diamond rims and underwear made of hundred dollar bills that they throw away after one wear but the majority of pro skateboarders are simply getting by, enjoying the fun life of traveling and partying before moving on with the next phase of their life. Some even supplement the money they make from skating with real jobs. You know, like, where you actually have to do stuff. 5Boro’s Dan Pensyl is one of those guys. When he’s not flying around the world skating he’s swinging a hammer back in New York. But that’s just his personality. He’s as blue collar as they come. All the guy knows is work. Everything he’s ever had he’s had to work hard for it. He’s an amazing skater but by no means a natural. As he says, “Some people are born with the heart and some people are born with the skill.” So for all you kids out there, Dan is proof anyone can be a pro skateboarder if you bust your ass. Just don’t go quitting your day job.
I refer to The Skateboard Mag simply as THE. And so the name of my document on you is called The-Pensyl. Have you ever thought of adopting that as your nickname?
Nah, that one passed right by me. I’ve had a few but The Pensyl was not one of them. In elementary school it was Pensyl-neck-geek, then middle school it turned into Pensyldick and that one lasted up until about a week ago. There was also Pen-gina thanks to Mark Nardelli. Also Pensyl-tration, that’s one I probably could have left out. I think I’ll stick with Pensyldick.
Wasn’t your childhood home haunted?
Yup. We’re not sure exactly what happened but we think a child was killed there and we think it had something to do with the mother or the nanny because there was a footprint at the top of the back stairs and after we sanded the footprint off a couple women that visited our house felt like they were getting pushed down the stairs from their lower body. And only girls have ever felt that. And one dude. But two years later he came out of the closet so maybe it’s people that like males.
 So it’s a man-hating ghost?
I don’t know but my mom would work nights and she would sleep during the day and she’d hear these little kids playing in the yard and she’d go to yell at them but as soon as she opened the blinds it would be dead silent; no one there. Then there was another time when we repainted the living room and my dad noticed there was a handprint on the wall. He started screaming and yelling so pissed and he made all of us put our hands up to the handprint to see whose hand matched and none of our hands fit the size of the print. It was smaller than all of ours. So I’m pretty stoked that my folks recently sold that house and moved into a trailer.
Did your folks ever have an exorcism on the house?
No, we just rolled with it. It wasn’t really that vicious. I guess getting pushed down the stairs kind of sucked but it wasn’t that bad. More weird than anything. Our first experience was when we first moved in. My older sister was babysitting me and my younger sister. It was pouring rain and we’re watching TV and the power goes out but the TV comes back on and it’s just snow. Then the lights start flickering and you see a little silhouette of a face of a little kid on the TV, like with big ears and a little face. Then the TV shuts off. The people that lived there before us had all these bottled waters in the cellar because she was paranoid that a war was going to come and she was going to have to drink bottled water out of mason jars for the next 60 years. So as soon as the TV went out again we heard all the bottles of water break and we freaked out. We ran outside with no shoes on. Our parents found us like five blocks away just walking in the rain. They grabbed us and took us back to the house. The next morning my dad talks to the neighbors and asked if their power went out and nobody else’s power on the block went out except for ours. Then he went down in the basement and all the water bottles were still in tact; none of them broke. But I’m telling you, we heard all of them break and the room was on a slope and you could hear the water run down the stairs. It was like in Goonies where the water bottle breaks and the kid is like, “Yeah, it’s like an old man taking a piss.” They thought we were crazy but we were teenagers at that point we were old enough to know what we heard. It was weird stuff.
Every time I see you and your folks yous guys are always drinking beer out of some glass boot. What’s the deal with that thing?
They got the boot in Germany when my dad was stationed over there in the seventies. I’d say it’s probably a 16-inch glass boot, maybe a size 7 with a two inch heel and you drink it with the toe pointing up and the joke is when the air bubble hits the toe it splashes back at you. The tradition started when my parents threw me a big barbeque in Pennsylvania for when I turned pro. All the 5Boro family and everyone from Jersey and Pennsylvania came together at my folks’ house. We had the boot and an 18-inch bottle of Jagermeister with ‘Go For Broke, 5Boro 2005’ engraved on it. Everyone did a toast with that and they had the bottle on ice for two days. And Willy Akers had to pour every shot for every person that was there and his hand got frost  bitten as a result of holding the bottle so long. After we drank that whole bottle of Jager the boot came out. Now it’s a tradition whenever there’s a demo or a barbeque my folks always bring it out. If you ever watch the movie Beer Fest you’ll see the exact boot we’re talking about. They show you the system to not get splashed in the face. The secret is you cheat it and rotate it a bit so the toe isn’t pointing up. It’s cheating though and cheating in drinking games is never acceptable.
Is it sometimes hard to be friends with Amy Gunther from KCDC because, you know, she always smells so good?
Yeah. It’s hard going over to pick up boxes sometimes. She gives me a hug when I get there and I kinda don’t want to let go.
Speaking of girls, there’s a girl on 5Boro, named Lorena Lima, that beats everyone in arm-wrestling. Have you ever beat her?
I have never arm-wrestled her so no, I’ve never beat her. But I’m claiming she’s flow and has to beat everyone on the team before she gets a chance against me and she’ll never beat Justin Barnes so I’m ok. On this recent tour we would offer kids a board if they could beat her in arm-wrestling and she beat everyone. So instead of giving them boards, we gave them all really bad haircuts. One dude we gave a rat-tail, another one a messed up mullet. And I think I’m up $40 from placing side bets on her. She’s good and she can skate better than half the dudes out there. She can ollie higher than anyone else on 5Boro except for Steve [Rodriguez].
You recently went to jail for assault, what happened?
Oh boy. If you’re ever getting jumped, no matter what, don’t hit the person with a skateboard because it’s assault with a weapon even if they do pull a knife on you first. Me and my friends were outside of Max Fish one night and these dudes came out and were talking a ton of shit so I started talking some back. It wasn’t anything to get violent about but one dude came up and sucker punched me, then they both started hitting me. My friend went inside and she got all my homies and they ran out and we pretty much shut down the street for five minutes with this insane brawl. Then the dude pulled a knife on me while I was down so I hit him with my skateboard. The fight got broken up and I walked down the street to this other bar that my friend was working at and I look and those same dudes are sitting at the bar. I told my friend, the bartender, that they had to go, they got thrown out and then made a big scene out front. Somebody called the cops, cops showed up and since I had blood all over me from getting my lip split they had to question me. They learned from them that I hit one with a skateboard and so they arrested me. I ended up doing 40 hours in the tombs and after about 8 hours they put me in the same pen as the guys I just fought. So I’m sitting there with these two dudes that just beat the shit out of me. Sucked. I still have a court case pending. So be careful all you kids that think violence is cool. Hitting someone with your skateboard is still assault with a weapon.
 Don’t you have a full time job aside from being a pro skater?
Not recently, not for the past year. I’ve been traveling a bunch with skateboarding. I will work building sets or storefronts in Manhattan for a few weeks here and there but up until a year ago I always had another job besides skating. I went on a trip with Corey Duffle and he said, “Maybe it’s time to put down your hammer and start dropping hammers, Dan.” I just started laughing. I didn’t know what to say. I tried to explain to him that some people are born with the heart and some people are born with the skill. I’m just lucky enough to be where I’m at. I grew up in Bumblefuck, Pennsylvania. I might be one of the only skateboarders that can honestly say this, but I never had any desire to be a pro skateboarder because I was realistic. Even just getting sponsored was a gift to me. That’s why I appreciate every single time I step on a skateboard. I will work 40 hours a week doing manual labor and still make time, even if it’s raining, to go skateboarding. Yeah, it would be awesome to own an apartment in New York and have a car. Right now I’m driving around in a pick up truck my grandfather gave me because he bought a new one at a yard sale. That’s how I grew up. It’s funny when kids see me on the train and are like, “You’re a pro skateboarder? Why are you taking the subway?” There’s more to it than money for me. As long as I still have this deep love for skateboarding, I’m good. Maybe it comes with the Cliff Bar Endorsements. But I just love skateboarding, even when I get pissed and throw my board. I still go over and pick it up and apologize to it.
Are you surprised Nike asked you to be in their new movie?
Yeah, I was really surprised and stoked on that right there.
Because you, my friend, are no Gino Iannucci.
I am definitely not Gino or P-Rod, that is for damn sure. But it’s rad that they’re doing the bonus disc with all the people they show support to but who aren’t on their main squad. I’m sharing a part with Seth McCullam and Emerik Pratt.
Does it make your momma proud that you and Michael Jordan ride for the same team?
 Yeah, I always wanted to be like Mike. My dad is super stoked. He drives around with magazines in his pick up truck to show the other contractors, “This is my boy. He just went to Peru for skateboarding. What’s your son doing?” He does what I did at my 10-year reunion. I tell everyone all the fun I’m having traveling the world skateboarding while all these dudes are married with two kids and working a desk job.
Since you and P-Rod are teammates do you think he’d lend you $20 if you needed it?
I never met him but I’d lend him twenty so, you know, the old saying, ‘Do unto others…’ I would hope that he would lend me $20. But I might not be able to pay him back right away, that’s the difference right there.
Do you ever fall asleep and think to yourself, “Man. I wish I was P-Rod,”?
No, I fall asleep and think, “Damn, I wish I didn’t have to go to work tomorrow.” I’m sick of swinging hammers and carrying lumber.
And on that note, we’ll end this. Do you have anyone you’d like to thank?
I’d love to thank you and your wife for having me over to your home for dinner and doing this interview, Steve Rodriguez and all of 5Boro, Shimery over at Limited Distribution, Nike, Spitfire, Thunder, Steve and Remy at Volcom, NJ Skateshop, Autumn Skateshop, beautiful Amy Gunther at KCDC Skateshop and my family for bringing me into this trife-ass world. Thanks.
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