Brian Brown Interview - chrisnieratko.com

Brian Brown Interview

[ photo by giovanni reda ]

Why do they call you "Turtle?"

They call me the Turtle because of Giovanni Reda's horrible sense of humor. It started with the first Zoo York tour I was on, listening to the Jerky Boys. There's some skit in there where he calls up a comic-book store asking him all these questions, and then he's like, "Yeah, I'm gonna come down there and feel you up like you're my little fucking turtle." Then I'd be like, "Jeff, let me use your cell phone," and he'd be like, "Shut up before I come back there and smack you like a little turtle." I fucking hated it, and it stuck.

I thought it was because you skated all slow and really got no steez.

Well, that could be it too, Chris.

What kind of good things does Harold call you?

He thought I was Macaulay Culkin for like the first three years I knew him. He's like, "I love you in Sixteen Candles, kid." Right, don't you mean Anthony Michael Hall? "Yeah, all you white boys look alike."

What's the best thing or the worst thing, depending on how you look at it, that ever happend to you on tour with Harold?

There's too many memories of Harold. The first time I really got to know Harold was in Florida on my first Zoo York tour. And he brought home this 40-year-old lady, just pretty haggard and old, and he's like, "Yeah, this is my little brother," and he points to me, and i'm like sleeping in the bed, an innocent little uncorrupted 14-year-old and shit. And he's trying to get me out of bed and hang with them, and she was so haggard, and then he brought her to the beach and the rest is history.

What happened that time you knocked your tooth out?

We were skating this demo, and there were metal ramps, and I tried to do a kickflip to fakie, and I hit something, and I just slid out and busted my tooth. It was actually the last front one, I kind of have buck teeth, the last front one, it's fake.

Is it made of wood?

No, it's made of like this weird like--

Cheese? Is it made of Cheese?

No, but it glows blue at the top, if that means anything.

You got a fucking blue mouth and red hair?

I'm all fucked up, huh?

Did I already make fun of you skating slow with no style?

I think so, you could try it again though.

How come you skate so slow with no style?

I don't know, it could have something to do with the blue tooth and my red hair. Try and figure it out.

I heard you were crying when your tooth got knocked out, and then you tried to get [Jeff] Pang to hug you -- is that true?

No, that's not true. That'd be pretty funny if it was.

I heard you kept going, "Jeff, it hurts. Just hold me."

No, no. I don't know how to answer that. It's just a blatant falsification, Mr. Nieratko.

I heard that after it happend, you called Jeff every day for three days, like, "I don't want to be alone right now."

Where do you come up with this shit, dude?

Just give me your sponsors, and then you can go to school.

All right, buddy, I skate for Adio and Zoo York.

That's it?

That's it, man. Not too many people like me. Those are the only people that are gonna sponsor me. Especially with the fact that I skate really slow and kinda fucking shit-style.

You gotta stop with the fake push.

What the Mongo stomp?

No, it looks like you're pushing, but you're actually just dragging your toe to slow you down.

There's something bad about that? Tell me when it gets bad, because that's a fucking dope style, as far as i'm concerned.

I heard they gotta play you in fast forward just to make it look like slow-mo?

Yeah, why? I don't know, I got the small wheels.

Well, grow up and start pushing.

All right, dick. I'll see what I can do.

I'm gonna get one of those radar guns, and I'm gonna clock you.

It'll be in fucking negative miles per hour.

I know, you don't even move.

No, I skate in fucking reverse. And then you have to do it in fast forward---

You gotta do tricks on carousels just so the shit moves towards you.

On the fucking moving sidewalk at the airport, that's where I get all my lines when I gotta push.

Comments

9toe slow-mo
06 Mar 2007, 00:05

haha this the same shit you pull on me, except I try to take ur advice!! critize me more so I can be better

agies
09 Aug 2007, 01:21

i love with your style, good luck boy