Hey Brandon, you, Suski and Shetler have followed TM Seamus Deegan from 5Boro to Birdhouse to Zoo York. What company are yous guys going to ride for next?
Oh, we’re sticking with Zoo. It’s good. They treat me good and we got a solid crew. I love traveling and hanging out with those guys and having a good time.
You also ride for Emerica and yet you don’t wear skin-tight spandex jeans. How does that work out?
I don’t know, I get to wear what I want. The skin-tight pants don’t really suit me.
Do you have a short man’s complex?
Uh, no. I don’t think so.
I hear your mom runs a dog grooming and cleaning business out of the basement and she specializes in dog anal cleansing.
Yeah, basically dogs have this gland in their ass and it collects toxins and they have to squeeze it and clean it out and when they do it just goes everywhere and smells really bad. It’s all like liquid and it squirts all over the place. I don’t get anywhere near that. It’s green and gross.
Is Donny Barley your father? He looks like it.
Yeah, well, it’s more like Uncle Donny. Sometimes my parents think Donny is me when they see him.
I heard you have a love interest in your cousin.
Yeah…no, no, that’s not true. I don’t know who told you that.
What’s the deal with you eating hotel room ants?
That was Chris Trembley. He was on a kick and he was saying how good they were so I tried a few of them. They were kind of spicy.
Have you ever tried to snort them like Ozzy?
No, never. They were just running all over our hotel room; it was kind of weird, so I ate some.
How many different vehicles do you own?
I got a Jeep, a truck, a quad, a Harley, a jetski, a dirt bike; I guess I have quite a bit of toys.
Didn’t your brother crash your crotch rocket?
Yeah. My dad has a crotch rocket too and I took my dad’s out and my brother took mine and he was flying around a corner and hit the sand and went down and my bike went flying into the woods; just totaled it. It was brand new too; I only had it for two months.
What’s the story with the plywood shack you built in your backyard for your brother?
Before last winter we built something like a shed but it was fully insulated and it had lights and TV and cable and electricity. He pretty much lived out there all winter and had fun partying out there. It was cool. We called it the Crack Shack.
Did yous guys smoke crack out there?
No, no. That’s what my dad called it. He actually kicked my brother out of it because he was smoking too much weed and stuff. So my dad got super pissed and tore out all the windows and broke down half the wall. He cut it out with a chainsaw. He was really pissed. He pulled everything out of it and threw it on the lawn for my brother to bring back in the house.
What does your dad do for a living?
He works on the cranberry bogs, they sell the cranberries to Ocean Spray. I helped him out for a summer in the bogs once. It was cool. I got to drive a big tractor, like a big loader. I didn’t work during picking season but what they do is they just flood the bogs and they have something on there that rototills it and knocks the berries off the vine and they float to the top and they corral them and then they suck it up into a truck and they haul it away.
After seeing cranberries day in and day out, does your dad hate cranberries?
I don’t know. I don’t think he’s that big of a fan.
Addidas Tim O'Connor Roast Hosted by Chris Nieratko
Hey friends, what are you wearing? I mean, what are you doing?
I have a small favor to ask: HELP ME WIN RYAN SHECKLER'S CAR.
Ryan and I are complete opposites:
He's young, I'm old.
He's skinny, I'm fat.
I can't 360 flip lipslide a rail.
BUT I already found a chill girl.
So I'm one step ahead of him in that department.
BUT he has a 2003 land rover...
...and i want it.
And he'll give it to me if I raise the most money for cancer. So help me win Ryan's car! I figure if everyone donates just two dollars each; I'm a shoe in. Sure, two dollars can feed a family in Africa rice for a month
or maybe help some crappy death metal band from Iraq get a gig but Africa is such an 80s cause and who listens to death metal anymore?
This is 2008 and materialism is where its at. It's the most worthy cause i can think of. I mean aside from this cancer thing that we're raising money for. So if you don't mind, click here and donate a couple bucks. I really need a new car. I mean, Cancer would appreciate it. No. Wait. That's not right. Cancer will be pissed if you donate money. This is anti-cancer stuff. Don't you want to rebel against cancer? Pretend cancer is your parents. Tell cancer how much you hate it by donating $2 or more now.
Hey Brandon, you, Suski and Shetler have followed TM Seamus Deegan from 5Boro to Birdhouse to Zoo York. What company are yous guys going to ride for next?
